Oh hello, hey, hi!! I hope that there are still some people on this page…LOL. As you know I quit my job and this has been my second week at home. I had this whole plan on how I would take two weeks off to start and then plan the rest of my life. The first week felt good. No alarms, no thinking about what to wear, or having to put on the “I am so happy to be here face.” 

Still no clue

I can’t lie but week 2 has been rough because I still don’t have a clue on where to start. It’s been a 50/50 struggle. I LOVE BEING AT HOME but the reality is that at one point I am going to need money to pay bills. These savings unfortunately won’t last forever. 

Embarrassed

To be honest with you I don’t even want to link this post on my social media because wow my life is repetitive. It’s embarrassing. I almost feel like it’s Groundhog Day. I wake up, I complain about not knowing what to do. I get a job for a year or so and start thinking no this ain’t it, I quit. I go back to not knowing what to do. Get depressed cause answers are not coming. Go get another job to pay bills and the whole thing starts again. I can totally imagine if you are also tired of reading this. I am now seeing this blog as an online diary to clear my mind. It does help a lot and I am sure I am not the only one that is struggling with this. 

Applying for jobs

I did apply for a job that I thought might be something for me but I haven’t heard from them yet. Writing job application letters is a whole sport on its own. This brings me to today. I have decided that my “vacation” is over and I took myself and my laptop out on a date. As we speak I am enjoying an Iced latte and a piece of carrot cake and I feel alive again.

Ghosted this Blog

I haven’t written anything for about almost 5 weeks now but I had zero inspiration. My last post was on 20 June. I just wanted to stay in bed or on my couch and watch every show on the planet. I think I am done now and it was time to get back out here and be amongst people and most important FIND A JOB!! Cause let’s be real who do I think I am with my let me just stay at home mentality?

Panic

The mild panic attacks at night aren’t helping either. I have told you how my brain starts working extra hard as soon as I reach my pillow and let’s just say WOW! My brain is working overtime and according to my Apple Watch, my breathing is a mess when I am sleeping. 

Hope

Will this question ever get answered? Of course, it will because one thing we are not going to do is lose hope. It is just taking a bit longer than expected. I am going to try and enjoy this extra free time somehow and summer of course. I have been listening to The Mountain is You on Storytel. This book made me realize that The Mountain is really me. I love listening to it because it is very confronting and I need that. 

Where do I go from here?

I think I am going to end this post here because it’s been much of the same. I just wanted to let the people who read this blog know that I am still alive and still dealing with the same question. Where do I go from here?  

Thank You

Talk to you next week and thank you so much if you are still here checking the page from time to time.💛

p.s Don’t forget to like the post if you did of course☺️