Best purchases to start the New Year right

Best Purchases to start the New Year Right

First of all HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I hope that all of us will have a happy and healthy 2024!

Best purchases to start the New Year Right!

Is everybody also stressing out about all of these New Year’s resolutions? I don’t have many this year because it gets overwhelming. Two of those resolutions are in this post. These are 2 of my best purchases to start my New Year Right. 

Getting Fit

Getting fit or losing weight. Who doesn’t have this one on their list? We all know how crowded the gyms get in January. There are a lot of us who want to work on our summer bodies or simply get healthier. I want to work on both. I turned 46 in November and my body is reminding me of my age every morning. The struggle of getting older but still feeling like you are 28 in your mind is real. But anyway, here I go again with all this talking.

Treadmill

I wanted to talk about something that I bought so I can still be active during this cold and rainy weather. I only go outside to go to work and that’s it! I am not an autumn/ winter person but sitting on the couch all day isn’t healthy either. I bought a treadmill and I love it! I bought the pink version. All my gym stuff is pink. I don’t know who I am either because when I was young I hated the color pink but yet here we are! What I love about it is, is that I get my steps in while I am being entertained by my TV. It’s a win-win!

Notion

I talked about this in last week’s post. I started using Notion a few times but I just couldn’t get the hang of it to make it look as organized and beautiful as the other people I saw online. I knew how it would be beneficial but I didn’t have the patience to learn. I only have the patience to watch hair tutorials so I can do my hair myself plus I enjoy doing that. So one day I was scrolling through Instagram and saw that Grace Beverly had made her Productivity Method digital. She did it by using Notion. I was so happy! My mind said: ” You have to buy this now!” Yep, I am an influencer’s dream client! And now I have it. They explain everything so well and everything has a mini tutorial. 

Examples 

Examples of things that you can plan in your digital planner.

  • Goals: you can write your yearly, monthly, and daily goals. 
  • Braindumps: There is a section for Braindumps. I sometimes think of random things  (unfortunately even in the middle of the night). These thoughts are being written on my phone, piece of paper, or wherever. I never know where to look for them afterwards. Now I just go to my digital planner and dump my thoughts there. 
  • Vision Board: I love the Vision Board option because I can get my images from everywhere. Especially Pinterest and put them on my vision board. You can also add quotes. 

As you can see I am quite happy with this purchase because I had to stop myself from continuing about it. It made my life easier because my mind is always busy and now I get to put everything there and let the thoughts go. 

Best purchases of December

These two things were my best purchases of December because they made it possible for me to start my year right. I want to get fit/healthy again and plan things better in 2024. I bought more things but this post is so long already. I will do another best purchases post at the end of January. 

What are your Goals?

What are your goals this year? Or are you letting things go the way they are supposed to go? Either way is fine of course because keeping up with the goals we plan in January can be difficult. Whatever you have decide to do, I hope you have a beautiful year. 

Talk to you next week. Feel free to share and like this post 🫶🏾

Change career in 2023 at 45 and having no ideas

Career after 45

Change careers in 2023 at 45 and I have no idea, how to move forward.

I wish it was a script in a movie and we know how everything will turn out in the end. But here we are at my current job and just 17 days to go. I am sitting in this classroom and wrecking my brain with questions about my career goals. Was it wise to quit without having a new job lined up? There must be a way to start doing something else entirely with the skills I have developed throughout my career. What is the best way to go about these things? 

Leap of Faith

Should you stay and just be dead inside and do everything on auto-pilot, or should you, just take a leap of faith and see where things will end? I guess I chose the latter one. There was no way I could have been at this job during the summer and just be on auto-pilot. 

The struggle is REAL!!

If you have been reading my blog for these past few months you would have noticed that the thing I struggle most with is changing careers and leaving my current career behind. But somehow I always get sucked back in and I don’t even know how. Changing your career is a struggle and a half. Changing it in 2023 at 45 and having no ideas is something else.

Ready to learn new things

My current role as a study coach differs from standing in front of a class but is still in education. I want to leave it behind, get some new work experience, and be challenged again. I am ready to learn some new skills. I can do this education thing with my eyes closed and it’s getting old.  As you know, I would like to do so many things, but this is also overwhelming. I don’t know what my first step needs to be and my brain is running around in circles. 

Books

I am reading so many books to find some answers on how to make this major career change. What I  need is for someone to tell me how to start. Of course, some of these books are helpful and I am enjoying them. It is still difficult to find my answers. Even when you Google these topics, it is difficult to find a simple answer. Maybe it is supposed to be difficult for you to enjoy the ending more. I don’t know but what I do know is that it is getting a bit stressful.

Regrets?

I don’t regret this midlife career change one bit but the struggle is real. One of the books that I have just finished today is You Are a Badass at Making Money by Jen Sincero. I bought the book because of the title, who doesn’t want to become a Badass at Making Money? It was a fun read! If you have been reading books about manifesting and going after your goals it won’t be something new. It did however remind me of how I need to stop letting the “I can’t do it” voice take over. I liked the book because of her sense of humor and how she explained how she went after her goals. I thought it was inspirational. 

How do they do it?

I always see people say things like: “Oh, I was a beautician before but now I work in marketing.” or something totally different and I think HOW?? How did you know you were good at this and how did you get your foot in the door to make this change? I know I am a person that is willing to learn and I do learn new things quickly. I just need the opportunity to get started.

Where I am looking for jobs

I am living on Indeed.com these days to see what is out there and some of these jobs look so good. As I mentioned in a previous post as soon as I see something that I haven’t done before I just move on. I have also changed my LinkedIn profile and am looking for a new career path there. LinkedIn is daunting, don’t you think so too? Or am I the only one? There are so many career options on there but I feel like I don’t fit in because I feel like I don’t have specific skills that they are asking for.

Still a work in progress

My biggest challenge is to work on my confidence; it is still not where it should be. Some days I wake up and say: ” You are a BOSS and you can achieve anything you want!” The next day I wake up and say: ” Who are you kidding you are going to stay in this current position forever.” It’s a good thing that the first one is taking over more and more but I want it to be my everyday mantra.

Family and Friends

One of the good things is that I am surrounded by people who are encouraging me to find my dream job. They know how unhappy I was. I think deep down they might think this woman is wild…LOL…Here she is quitting jobs here and there without a solid plan. So happy that they love me and support me and I love them for that. To be honest, if a friend came to me years ago and told me this plan I would also look at them as if they must have lost their mind.

Contradicting myself

Being in the position I am now, I support everyone who wants to be happy with their careers. No matter how wild their plan is. Take risks and if you fail you can always say that you tried. You see how I contradict myself because I always have good advice for everybody but I don’t follow my advice. Anyway, I will always have my teacher’s degree to fall back on if push comes to shove and I need money for my financial obligations. 

Not Enough Time?

I know I don’t have much time to figure things out because there is still such a thing as age discrimination (unfortunately). People see your age and think well we can’t hire this person because they are “old”. It is a shame because we do have a lot of life experience which can be useful to a job. I don’t mind working at all even though I always make jokes on my social media about wanting a ‘”soft life”. What I do have is a strong work ethic and always go for 100% even if I don’t like my job. I don’t think my employer should suffer because I am an indecisive person.

If I could turn back time

I wish I could go back to high school and start all over again with the life experiences I have now. I would have done things so differently and would probably be doing something creative like singing, acting, or DJing. But choices were made back then and the only thing I can do now is make a career switch. There must be a good idea somewhere in my brain to make this change a bit easier. These years of experience must be good for something. A fresh start is needed. I will now be very happy with a job that lets me do remote work and has flexible hours. I just want to enjoy my working life and have a better work-life balance.

The clock is TICKING!

Three more Mondays and a whole lot of stress to find out what is up next in this little life of mine. I have been rambling again for quite some time now on this post. It is LONG but if you got this far, I do want to thank you for reading. If you have been in this position by going for a different career can you please let me know how you did it? And if it worked out for you? I need answers…LOL. I don’t know many people who are close to me who have taken a plunge into the unknown as I have. Is it even possible for an average person to start working in a new field without connections? I will stay hopeful and believe that the best things are yet to come. 

End of Ramble

Thank you for taking the time to read, I can’t wait to write about some good news on the job department. It will happen!!! My next post won’t be so long but I had some free time and I wanted to write a post about my job search. I guess I had a lot to say and now you know half of my personal life…LOL. Now let me go speak my job in a new industry into existence so I can enjoy the next step in my life! Talk to you soon! 💛

p.s I love how people DM me to tell me that they think it’s nice to see how I just voice what is on my mind. Also, feel free to share by clicking on the share button or clicking the like button. Thanxxxx ☺️

Dating Part 2

Dating these days 

Here is dating part 2. I said in my part 1 of dating these days that I would only date someone if it felt right. My post was from December 2022 and did I date people these last few months??…NOPE! Lol. We do have some progress because I am open to dating somewhere this year. My brother-in-law gave up hope hahaha. Because I always tell him that by next Christmas, he won’t be the only man at the table. I have 7 months to keep my promise so who knows by Christmas 2023 I will be sitting next to someone’s son😂. I got this! Just keep in mind that I have been saying this for the last 4 or even 5 years.

Dating Apps

Did I ever go on one of these apps? I sure did out of curiosity and sometimes still do when bored. I download these apps to just delete them within 24 hours. Downloading apps was such a big taboo when they first came out. I now don’t care what people think. Everybody was making up stories about where and how they met. Now it is a great story because it is so rare to find a gem in the app world.

Sucker for a beautiful story

I fall for these apps after watching a few cute stories on TikTok and think well maybe today is my day and I will also meet my Mr.Right. I go on there and within 10 min I think nope. I keep it for 24 hours or less and delete it because it is very tiring to keep up conversations with people. In real life, I am so much better. I never know what to say and I lose interest or they lose interest and we go back to square 1 and I delete, delete, delete. 

Success Love Stories

I have friends and acquaintances that have had so much success on these apps. Some even got married and some are still dating. I have friends who don’t mind going on a few dates with different people and maybe finding their person.

Level Up

I have to get to their level. My thing is what if I get there and I know in 5 seconds that I don’t like the person, how long am I supposed to stay there? I also think what if they don’t like me and they tell me… OMG!! I mean it’s better to know but who wants to hear that someone doesn’t like them or doesn’t find them attractive? I will feel awful telling someone on a date that I am not into them and that there won’t be another date. So I just don’t date and voila problem is solved. 

Love Languages

We have all heard about these love languages and I know that some people think it’s a lot of bullshit but I like it. So of course when I heard of this back in the day I had to do the test to see what my love language is. The first time I took the test years ago, I got Words of Affirmation. I just did it again today and things have changed a little bit. I now have Quality Time as my first Love Language. Did you ever take a Love Language Test and is your result accurate? I can understand why this has changed because I hope to someday find someone who would like to travel and see the world with me. 

Keep you posted

As soon as I go on my first date in 2023 I will update you and let you know how I felt. This is also part of my get out of my comfort zone journey in 2023. How do you feel about dating? If you are already with someone did you meet organically or through a dating app? How do you feel about dating apps? Let me know in the comments under this post or maybe prefer to let me know on my IG or FB.

To be continued

Of course, there will be part three where I’ll tell you about my dating adventures.☺️ As always thank you so much for reading and talk to you next week. Click the like button on top or the bottom of the post if you liked it of course. 💛 

p.s Click the like button on top or at the bottom if you like my post and feel free to click the share button if you think someone else will like it too. Thanxxx for reading. 

Dating part 2

Talents

I was talking to my sister the other day about talents. People tell me that I am so talented and that I am so smart, creative, social, fun to be around, etc. The thing is that I don’t feel like such a talented person. I mean I know I am a smart and a fun person but I feel like I can do a little bit of everything and I do not excel in one thing. 

Jealous (in a good way)

I read a lot of books, listen to podcasts, and have a list of people on Youtube that I have been following since forever and I admire how they are fully using their talents. I’m so jealous but in a good way of course. I always have this little voice in the back of my mind who tells me to don’t even bother because it will not work out. The older I get the less I am listening to this voice but I need to get rid of her before I turn 80 cause at that point I won’t be able to literally hear her anymore.LOL 

Event

I am still figuring out how to put my small event together. I need to talk to people who put events together and learn from them. Time to start networking. Mine will be a small gathering at first and if it works who knows it might become something bigger. I feel that this could become something I could excel in.  

Everything has already been done

There are so many things that I want to do but I feel like everything has already been done. I am talking about things like me starting a podcast or even this blogging that I am doing right now. There are so many great podcasts and fantastic blogs online that it’s very daunting to start one. I am glad that I did put my reservations on a shelf and started this blog. Even if nobody reads it, it is something that I love doing. The only reason I haven’t started dabbling with a podcast or even a YouTube channel is that I am not a fan of my voice😓

Recommendation 

I was listening to a podcast while I was cleaning my house this last Sunday. It was an episode of The Goal Digger Podcast This episode was about how we are waiting for a sign to make a big career change. This episode resonated with me because this whole blogging thing started because I was waiting for a sign to make a career change. This big sign never came and I learned that I just need to do things. She also had an episode about how to start small businesses from home. I loved that one too because you all know by now that this is the dream. 

Posting twice a week

This post was a good old ramble again. This one was a little bit all over the place again and long.(I am so sorry) I hope that by the end of this year, I have discovered my main talent and that I am putting it to use. I am going to try and post twice a week because I want to better my writing and the only way to do this is by writing more. Let me know in the comments here, on FB or IG if you are using all your talents or if you are still thinking about what your talents are. If you would like to see more of my daily life you can follow me on my social media platforms. Talk to you soon.💛

Confidence

Confidence blog post dushilifestyle

Being confident

I’ve written about confidence before but it was in a post where I talked about lots of other things too. Remember me telling you that becoming more confident would be my new thing? Did this happen??? No cliffhanger here, so here is the answer and the answer is NO!!! 😓 The pressure to start being more confident and to just go for things is getting worse. As of now, I have about 45 days to get a new job—just a quick reminder in case you missed last week’s post. Having 45 days at this job is not because they want to get rid of me but because of my need to continue with my journey to happiness.

Doubts

After almost 6 months my friend stress is back and she says: “Hello!”  Is it the right thing to do to just stay where I am? At least I know I will have an income but I won’t be moving forward with my plans and dreams? Or should I stop doubting myself and just apply for the jobs that appeal to me and stop being so scared and having so many doubts? But by leaving having a steady income is off the table again.  As always I save money for the just-in-case part but I don’t want to touch my savings to pay the bills. The biggest part of this journey is to be more confident and just doing things without doubting myself so much. 

IT Event 

Another part of this journey is doing more things alone and to step out of my comfort zone so I got a ticket to an IT event. You might think what the hell and where is this coming from? This has always been an interest of mine but I never knew what my options were. When lurking on LinkedIn  (as one does to look for job opportunities) A friend of mine posted about this event. It said that you are welcome without an IT background. If you are interested and want to know more about the opportunities in IT. As I am writing this I feel nervous because I am going alone and this is a whole new setting for me. I hope that I am not going to change my mind and cancel. If I go I will let you know how it went. 

Time out 

I am going away next week to Curacao and I am looking forward to this just to clear my mind. I am hoping that by being in another environment, things will start falling into place. The way my mind is running around in circles is very annoying and I am hoping that the sun and the beach will inspire me and make me happy. I need this time out to reset my mind. I am so grateful that I get to do this because I know that not everybody can change environments to reset their minds. 

Book recommendation

Reading books is one of the things that I love doing. There is a book, that I want to read Girl Stop Apologizing. They say it’s a wake-up call book for women. It talks about how we must stop making excuses and doubting ourselves and just go after our dreams. I will buy it for my upcoming vacation.I will let you know if it is a must-read. This has been a short and sweet post. I don’t have much to talk about this week. I am stressed about work and about packing my suitcase. I don’t like packing. My little sister packs in two minutes and looks cute every day. I pack for two weeks and still have nothing to wear. I want to be her when I grow up. ☺️

What do you think?

Let me know what you think I should do about the work. Should I stay longer or just go once my contract is done? 🙃You can let me know here, on Facebook or on Instagram.  Talk to you next week

Keeping up With Friendships

Why am I like this?

You know the older you get the more people you got to know over the years. I have met some wonderful people due to jobs I had or just people I have met through other people. I have been thinking about some of them lately and I don’t know why. I always think of random things at random times of the day. You might think where am I going with this? Well, I am the type of person who for example hears a mosquito in the middle of the night, wakes up and Googles how long does a mosquito live? Why do I do this?? Nobody knows!! But anyway back to the story. So basically that’s how my brain works and that’s why I have been thinking about some of them out of nowhere.

Disappointed

So these last few months I have been randomly thinking about a few of them at the most ridiculous hours of the day. Instead of me texting them I go onto their Facebook (yes I am old and I still check Facebook), IG, TikTok, etc. to see if everything is ok and then I go on with my day. The easiest thing would be to just call or text them to say hi. The thing is I feel awkward just saying hi out of the blue because I feel like they might be disappointed in me for not staying in touch.  I live in my little bubble and especially during fall and winter I just can’t go out and socialize. I just work and go home. The thought of having plans in this weather is a big no for me. 

Socializing

I wish I was better at this whole socializing thing. I know some people who always have busy schedules. They have plans with this person and that person and I just get mentally tired of just hearing how busy they are.  Sometimes I fall into this trap of enthusiasm and say oooh yes we need to get together soon and when soon comes you are already thinking of excuses to not go. I used to do this a lot when I was younger. These days I just keep it real and say that I am sorry but that it has nothing to do with them and that I just don’t feel like leaving my house.

Keeping up with friendships

Life is so busy sometimes that I don’t have the energy to be keeping up with friendships. And let’s be honest I am sometimes too lazy or too tired to talk to people. At this point in my life, I am so busy with figuring my life out that when I am done wrecking my brain all day with what is your next step going to be Indy??? You need to figure things out like yesterday. After this “wonderful” daily interaction with myself, I just want to be on my couch and watch movies. Energy is done!

Podcast about Friendship

As always I am either watching or listening to a Podcast and these girls from The Receipts podcast were talking about friendships. Have a listen to their podcast. They are so much fun. I do think that most women would like them but who knows maybe a few of my guy readers would too. If I was a guy I would listen to them to learn how women’s minds work hahaha. I have linked the episode about friendships and how they sometimes change. 

Feeling Bad

After writing this whole thing and reading it back I do feel awful that I don’t talk to certain people more often. I hope that they know that I am there for them whenever they need me. I am going to try and keep in touch with a few of them. How are you guys with friendships? Do you speak to everybody regularly? Let me know in the comments on this platform, Instagram or Facebook. 

Talk to ya next week 🙂 

Keeping up with friends

Feeling uninspired

Creative Block

I am in a bit of a creative block. I felt it coming a few weeks ago but somehow managed to come up with topics for the blog. I usually post on Monday or Tuesday but I am a bit late (actually extremely late) because of this creative block. I skipped last week because I was tired and uninspired.

Winter blues

This creative block was to be expected because there is so much winter I can endure. I am such a spring/ summer person and we all know that January feels like a whole year. I am so done with this cold weather and it is so depressing. I saw this Philips mood lamp which can help with these winter blues. I am thinking about buying one because this winter feels like 2 years. I tell myself every year that this will be my last winter in the Netherlands but here we are🙃 I think I need to find me a boyfriend who lives abroad so I’ll have a good reason to move there hahaha..

New Year New Me?? Where?

Anyway back to today’s topic and why I haven’t posted. I don’t know why I always fall for the “New Year New Me” thing because usually by the end of January my battery runs low and I just want to sleep till April. It’s a good thing that I did change jobs so this feeling low is less than previous years.

Feeling Rushed

I am also beginning to feel a little bit rushed to find a new job. This job is till May and I think that they might offer me to stay longer but as you all know I am in this semi midlife crisis and in my I am still searching for what the hell do I want to do with the rest of my life phase. This job is nice and I like my students but it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life.

I am proud of the job that I have done these last 3,5 months that I have been working here and I am proud of my students. A lot of them are on their way to get their diplomas in a few weeks. It’s so nice to be working with adults and not with moody teenagers who feel like they have to challenge you every day. I mean don’t get me wrong I won these challenges every day because I wasn’t impressed one bit but enough is enough. I am too old to be dealing with these daily challenges with moody teenagers. I also don’t miss my daily sentences like sit down, don’t do it, haven’t you brought a pen to school, why didn’t you do your homework? And let’s not forget the NOISEEEE these kids made every day. I know, I know I am old old hahaha

So what I have learned these last few months is that I like working with adults. My dream job will always be working from home or on an island somewhere with just my laptop but for now we have to make money to do fun stuff and pay these bills.

New Job Offer??

I even got a job offer to teach for 3 days and earn a lot of money but at this point in my life I just can’t. I am not saying that if I am in between jobs that I would never go back to teaching for a few months cause the money they were offering was good but I would only really do this if this is my only option to pay bills or when I want to save money quickly to go on a trip. 

As you can see today’s blog post is a bit here and there and I don’t have much to say except that I am feeling a bit meh. I am going to try to level up my spirit again and get back in my end of December start of January mode. Working out regularly, reading books, writing down plans and sticking to them. On a fun note I have a trip to Curacao to look forward to in March. I am hoping that I can also book a ticket to the Bahamas or Barbados around September/ October. I loved my trip with moms to Jamaica last year so much we want to travel more.

Let me know 

If you have a topic that you would want me to write about let me know. I would also love to know how you deal with these winter blues? Or are you a winter person? If you are, we can’t be friends LOL..

I am going to keep my eyes and ears extra open these days so I can get inspired again and write a fun post again. My apologies that this week’s post is a bit boring but life was life-ing these last few weeks.

Talk to ya next week 🙂

Feeling uninspired

Relationships and My Attachment Style

Attachment style and relationship blogpost

Valentine’s Day and relationships

In the spirit of the upcoming Valentine’s Day, I thought it might be a good idea to tell you about a test I took a week ago. I saw this woman on TikTok who was talking about her attachment style. She explained this in such an intriguing way that it got me curious to also know what my attachment style was. As you know I am single and I can’t even remember the last time that I was in a relationship. My stance on dating is also known. 

Why I’m single

 I am single because I am too lazy to get to know someone and I think my standards are too much these days that it’s almost impossible to meet my match.LOL. I think this is because I have been single for too long and I keep adding things to this imaginary ridiculously long list. I am not perfect and I don’t expect my partner to be perfect but there are a few things that I would like them to have and they will have their list of things too. Let’s just say I am my own worst enemy and I think this list is long because deep down I am just ok with how things are right now. 

Attachment Style Results

As I said I did this attachment style test and it was awkwardly accurate. If you are interested in taking the quiz too I will put the link at the end of this post. These were my results. 

Your Attachment Style Is: 
Fearful Avoidant 
You Deeply Yearn For Connection But Equally Fear It

Relationships can feel very confusing and overwhelming as you experience both anxious and avoidant tendencies

This means that you can feel quite anxious and fear abandonment in relationships, but sometimes you also push people away when they get too close. 

This can cause you to “flip-flop” in relationships – which can be very confusing for you and for your loved ones. 

Elaborating on my results 

It said more but I think this would have made this post even longer. I want to elaborate a bit more on these results. I had to answer it honestly and it is true that I sometimes think oh wouldn’t it be nice to meet this kind, funny, kind, loyal, honest, and handsome man but at the same time the thought of letting someone get close to me and then hurt me is a big NO!!! 

I wanted to elaborate but you know what these results say everything. Explaining more is almost impossible because everything they said is true. I guess this has to be the shortest elaboration on results hahaha. I have just accepted this and now I have to go think on how I can change some of these attachment styles and maybe get better at this not pushing people away and take some risks in love. But am I ready for the risks of getting hurt.. I am not sure. 

Dating Apps

I only have this feeling of wouldn’t it be nice to meet someone once in a blue moon when I see a cute couple explaining how they met each other. The usual answer is: ” We met on (insert name of any dating app cause we do live in 2023) and I get delusional and think let me go download this app and see what’s on there cause these people are so cute. Maybe my Mr. Cute is on there too just for me to delete the whole app within 24 hours max 5 days (but usually 24  hours) cause I just can’t be bothered. I never really know what to say and if I do say something I think it probably comes over as nonsense. I am so much better in face-to-face or telephone conversations. I am old skool I know, I know but on another note do people even talk on the phone anymore?

Missing the good old days

Can we go back to the days that you met people out and about. Talked for a bit, gave them your phone number, knowing they would call, when the phone rang your heart would skip a beat, you felt all nervous and happy, talked on the phone for hours, and then go on dates. I miss those days. I do have to say that back in the day I was a relationship kind of girl. I met someone, we talked, hung out together, and boom we were an item for the next few years until one of us or both of us called it quits for whatever reason.  Good old days! Some of these men were a little bit too much and they made me avoid every relationship ever since cause WOW!!! hahahah. The only good thing of these relationships is that I learned a lot and now know exactly what I will accept in a relationship. I think that I have been single for the last (I don’t even dare to say the number) years. It’s all good though cause as the great Whitney Houston once said “I’d rather be alone than unhappy.” And at this moment in time I am happy with how I live my life. 

Link for the test 

After another ramble I am going to give you the link to do the test too. You can do it if you are single or in a relationship. It is fun to know what your attachment style is. If you do take the quiz let me know if it was accurate without posting your results of course because I can imagine that you would like to keep that private. Don’t be like me and put everything out there on the internet. LOL 

This is the link to the website.

Attachment Style Quiz

Thank you as always for reading. If you have a topic that you would like me to write about feel free to let me know. Plus let me know if you think risking getting hurt for love is worth it. 

Talk to you next week 🙂 

Turning 45

Turning 45

I thought that I was going to cry all year last year because that was the year that I was going to be officially old. I was turning 45!!! I can’t believe that I am 45 now. HOW????

I am still not sure how I feel now that I am 45.  I mean I do think it’s old hahaha but I don’t feel old and boring. I still wear whatever I want to wear. I still go out from time to time cause I mean I am 45, not dead. The only difference is that I don’t go to every party anymore because of course at most parties the crowd is much younger. I remember being at a festival and I heard Miss (and my last name) THE HORROR!! It was a pupil of mine. I decided right there and then that I am never going to this particular festival anymore. The person I am as a teacher and outside of school are two different people. I dress differently and I have a few cocktails here and there. There is no need for them to see me like that.  

Luckily for me, I live in a city where there are a few parties for us “older” people.  I can’t imagine not going out dancing anymore and listening to music whilst having a nice cocktail with my friends. I am sure it’s going to happen one day but not yet. Warning this post is going to be a little all over the place because I was in a rambling mood. This will be part one of my thoughts on being 45 years old. I will be listing a few of these thoughts below. 

Social Media

Social media can be terrible but it also has its benefits. Remember when we were young (and maybe you are still young when you are reading this) we used to think that our mom’s 40+-year-old friends were old!! They looked old, dressed old, and thought old. I am sorry if you are one of my mom’s friends by the way cause I now realize that you weren’t old at all. 

Anyway, thanks to social media we now get to see women in their thirties, forties, fifties, sixties, and even seventies who are living their best lives. So this makes me less sad at this whole getting older thing.

In this post, I want to talk about how turning 45 feels and how I think about a few things. I will add a short list below. I say short but we all know by now that these posts are never really short 

Kids:

When you become older and especially when you are a woman people always ask so when are you having kids, don’t you want kids? They also like to add this part for a little bit of spice. Who is going to take care of you when you get older or aren’t you lonely without kids? I don’t have kids and I don’t want to have kids. I just deleted the part where I had a whole explanation as to why I don’t want them and thought nope why should I explain in such detail? It’s my decision and that’s it. I will give you the short version. I just love my freedom and that I can do whatever I want whenever I want without having the responsibility of another human being. I love kids ( I just don’t want any of my own) and I especially love hanging with my 4-year-old nephew. We do so many fun things and I spend most of my money on him cause he is the cutest and he is my best friend. To sum this part up let’s also remember that there are people who want kids but can’t have them and I think comments about why people don’t have kids or don’t want to have kids should stop. Drink your water and mind your business. By the way, I am not talking about you (my readers) I am talking about the people that I sometimes encounter. I am happy that the people who are close to me respect my decision. 

What to wear

Whatever the hell you want!! The end! Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk!! 

Insecurities 

The older I got the less insecure I got about for example my body. I always compared myself to my friends or my sister. These women are GORGEOUS and I always felt less gorgeous. Not their fault at all and this was/is most definitely a ME problem. They always told me I was beautiful but I never believed them because I just felt ugly. My mom used to tell me I was gorgeous all the time too. This woman thought her daughters were supermodels hahaha I love her for that! I just didn’t see myself as beautiful. Once I turned 40 I started to believe that I looked good and felt more secure about who I am. These insecurities also came from certain relationships but that will be in another post. I am slowly but surely starting to believe that I am gorgeous but why did it take me so long? I sometimes feel bad that I wasn’t confident back in my younger years so again if you are younger than I am stop comparing yourself to other people and don’t wait to feel pretty and confident only when you get older. You miss out on so much. 

Saying the word NO!

There are a few things that I do care less about. If I don’t feel like doing something or going somewhere I just don’t do it or I don’t go. I am done with doing stuff just to make someone else not feel bad. If people around you don’t understand the word no and they feel some type of way of you saying no to them well that’s a problem and not yours. I used to always make so many excuses and I am done with that.

I was always the one to make sure everybody is happy. I stopped doing that when I turned 40. My friends were always telling me to stop worrying about what other people might think and you know what they were right! Too bad this is also one of those things that are on my list of WHYYYYYY DIDN’T I DO THIS BEFORE??? I should have been like this even in my twenties. We should remind ourselves that no is a valid answer without any explanation. 

End of ramble 

By the way, this post took me three days to write. I started and then deleted a lot of it and even now whilst reading it over it feels like I am rambling a lot but I do hope that it was ok and that it made some sense

Let me know how you feel about getting older and if you see any differences. Are you a different person and do you have different thoughts about things?

I do hope you enjoyed my post about the big 45 and I am here to tell you that getting older is ok. You are as old as you feel and I will forever be 28 in my mind 😉 So here is to turning 28 for the next 45 years! 

I did it!

I did it. I have just emailed my boss with my letter of resignation. I am not sure how I feel yet. My heart is racing because as said before I don’t have anything new lined up. All I know is that I want to be happy and do things that I like to do. I know every job will have its ups and downs but I know everything will be better than going to work on a Monday and waiting for Friday to arrive.

As they say shit just got real! Here we go and let’s hope that everything will be ok in the end. I will dedicate today to updating my resume and sending it out. I have to say this is such a strange feeling but after complaining for 21 years it was time for something new. Life is too short to be unhappy.